So you’re thinking about getting married…..

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This year is our fifth anniversary. Five years, wow! I know it might not seem like much to those of you who have been married for 10 years or more, but for us it seems like it was only yesterday that we got engaged, at the same time it seems like we have been together forever.

              Five years ago, when I started sharing the news of our engagement with others their initial reaction was a polite frown that would turn into an almost forceful congratulations. I was 24 and my husband to be was 27. There were even some (married people) that went as far as to ask me why? Why would I want to get married? Needless to say this was very discouraging. Only one person was reassuring. One of my cousins, a newlywed, said that getting married was the best decision he had ever made, that waking up next to the woman he loved and being able to share his life with her was amazing. We were scared you know, unsure, excited, and he said exactly what we needed to hear.
             He was right, it was amazing. Every morning on that first year I would wake up and look over at my husband dreamily and say, ”  I can’t believe we’re married. We are so blessed to have found each other.” I’m not kidding, I would say it every day. Then life happened. In the next four years we went from having two incomes to having one, moved across the country 3 times, had a premature baby, and lost a parent to cancer. That in-love feeling began to dissipate and was replaced by frustration from lack of sleep, exhaustion, resentment, anger, bills, bills, and more bills. I would tell myself that we weren’t the problem, that we still loved each other, it was just life that was getting in the way.
              It took us a while to realize that we were the problem, that we desperately clung to our single days when we would go out at least 3 times a week and not worry about finances. We were focused on what ” I ”  wanted, what ” I ” needed, and not on each other.  We struggled with the responsibility of raising a child and dwelled on all that we were missing out on. We were miserable, and didn’t know if things were going to get better. Then something happened. Slowly, through all of our hardships the Lord taught us to rely on Him and not on ourselves. We became a family. We learned to say, ” Please, thank you, I’m sorry, I’m angry, and I need help.”  We learned that love is not just a feeling, it is respect, trust, fidelity, affection, and the hope of future together.
               Now I wake up everyday and thank God for my husband and my son. So if you’re thinking about getting married, congratulations!! You are about to start what can only  be described as an adventure. Remember marriage is a Sacrament, (an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace), and it is only through His grace that you will be able to achieve that for what you have been created, love.

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