To My Fourth Child…

It is the day after your first birthday and I have been looking for a few minutes to sit down and reflect on the story you.  You are so special and just because you may not have as many pictures as your siblings, you are just as important to me and especially to God.  You have blessed our lives with your presence and I’m eternally grateful for you.

The story of you begins right after I had your brother.  As I held him in my arms exhausted and overwhelmed with three children, I knew there would be another.  I looked at your Daddy and told him, “our family isn’t finished.”  He just laughed at me and brushed the comment aside.  It was a month after your Daddy and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary and your brother was only 15 months old.  I didn’t notice that I was a few days late for my period.  Your Dad asked me about it and as soon as I could, I took a pregnancy test.  Sure enough, I was pregnant with you.  I laughed at the craziness of having a fourth child and then for a moment I cried at the thought of having four kids.  I told you I was sorry right away.  You were welcome in this family, I was just scared.  Then I did what I should have done the moment I found out about you, I looked up to God and prayed.

Immediately a calmness came over me and I knew it was God’s plan for our family.  I would not be telling the truth if I said the next 9 months were easy and it was the best time of my life.  It was hard!  Your oldest brother was not very happy about the idea of a new sibling.  In fact he was angry at me and we had many heated discussions about you.  I know you heard them all and after each one, I put my hand on my belly and reassured you that you were welcome in this family and he would get over it.  It broke my heart to see your brother upset, but I knew that it would pass.  You were meant for this family and I knew God would change his heart in time.

It was also a transition time for our family.  Before we knew you were coming we started construction on our house to add more space and bedrooms for our current family of 5.  When we found out about you, we knew we REALLY needed the extra space. Time was of the essence, so we built it as soon as we could.   Right up until you were born the 5 of us lived in 2 bedrooms sharing one bathroom and a lot of dust!!

At night, when it was quiet, I would talk to you and let you know how much you were wanted.  As your due date came and went, I knew I had to help encourage you to come into this world.  We went and saw our naturopath and I begged for acupuncture to put me into labor.  He almost refused until he saw how big I was getting.

IMG_1529

It worked!! Within a hours of acupuncture, I started regular contractions that I knew would eventually bring you into this world.  I quietly let your oldest brother know that you were coming. He was upset and packed up his stuff right away .  I didn’t let your sister or other brother know because I wanted them to go to sleep so I could concentrate on you.  Your Auntie (the one you share a birthday with) came over to help with your siblings in case they woke up while I was delivering you.  As soon as everyone was tucked in bed, it was show time for you.

Daddy filled the tub with warm water just for us.  As he was filling the tub, I made sure he put in holy water from our pilgrimage to Lourdes, France.  Labor seemed to progress just like your siblings, but with one small difference, you didn’t want to come.  I prayed during each contraction with you. I asked every saint I could think of to come and help you out.  I asked our Blessed Mother to be with us.  The midwife was constantly monitoring you and everything was perfect, but you weren’t coming.  I asked you what you needed as I changed positions many times waiting for you.  Then, it happened, you descended, crowned and delivered to your nose.  I was pushing and pushing and you weren’t coming yet.  I didn’t panic, I was calm until the midwife said, “You have 1 minute to get this baby out or you are getting out of the tub.”  I pushed with all that I had and suddenly you were free.  I reached for you, but the midwife had you doing summersaults in the tub.  You were tangled in your cord.  Then I lifted you out of the water.  The midwife had an urgency about her to make sure you were breathing.  I started rubbing you and talking to you without knowing if you were my son or daughter.  As you began to breathe I felt that you were a boy and I started to say your name for the first time, William (Will: desire liam: protection).

DSC_2398

You were perfectly healthy, but your purple face told the story of your entrance into this world.  Your short cord was wrapped around your neck as tight as it could be not once, but twice.  You could have been strangled that night, your cord could have torn during delivery leaving you or me bleeding to death, but instead you came out breathing and bruised.  I believe Jesus, Our Lady of Lourdes,  all of the Angels, and Saints were with you “protecting” you because you were God’s “desire”.  Your Daddy and I didn’t know how fitting your name would be when we decided upon it a month before you were born!

Now that big brother of yours who didn’t want another sibling?  Here is his first picture with you:

IMG_1538

Yep, a smile!

And here are your other siblings:

DSC_2424

IMG_1810

Yes, there is pure love here.  You are such a blessed little boy.  Now that a year has passed, we can’t imagine life without you! You have been the glue that has bound us together.  Has it been easy?  Of course not, but LOVE is not easy.  Love is giving all that you have and expecting nothing in return.  The amazing gift when you love with no expectations, is that you are filled in a way that cannot be gained any other way.  That is the story of the cross and the resurrection that we celebrate today, Easter Sunday.  Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus Christ for our William and all of the blessings that you have bestowed on our family.

Image

This is your family William, on Easter Sunday, the day after your first birthday.  You are a blessed little boy, never forget that.

-Mommy

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “To My Fourth Child…

  1. Pingback: NFP and Being Open to Life | Where Grace Flows

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s